Come meet the Military Wives of Tacoma

Group is active and looking for new members

By Melissa Renahan on August 26, 2010

"The entire point is to meet new moms and wives and moms that are new to the military," explained Lyndsy Deskins, who is married to Spc. Robert Deskins. "It is good - necessary even - to have people who understand what you're going through."

Deskins is an assistant organizer for a group called Military Wives of Tacoma that is run through meetup.com, which is the largest network of local, social groups. With 7.2 million registered members and a presence in 45,000 cities, chances are you've at least heard of it.

Almost all of the Military Wives of Tacoma events are geared to be kid-friendly, ranging from playtime at a public park to a trip to the Point Defiance Zoo or getting a treat at a local Cold Stone Creamery. Some group favorites include the 22,000-square-foot indoor playland Charlie's Safari in Lacey, the Rainbows and Raindrops Parent & Child Play Center on Joint Base Lewis-McChord North, and the inflatable nirvana of Pump It Up in Tacoma. Sometimes meetings take place at a coffee shop where there is room for kids to play so the moms can grab a latte and chat.

However, with many of the husbands returning from deployments, there might be more chances for mommy nights, such as trips to the movies or book club discussions, in the near future. Typically there are two events a week; however, the goal is to have up to four. Events are posted well in advance through the site, and since some travel is often involved, RSVPing is strongly encouraged as a courtesy for the host and the other attending members.

In addition to RSVPing, the group has a few other unbreakable rules. First, you must be active on the message boards, and you must attend at least one event within 30 days of joining. Secondly, the group is entirely non-smoking, and events will not be scheduled in a house where there is indoor smoking. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, the group strives to be friendly and welcoming to all members, so being disrespectful is never tolerated.

Despite the group's name, individuals who are friends of a military spouse are welcome as are those married to government contractors. The only stipulation is that they be wives and not currently be military themselves.

"They understand what it means to go through a deployment," said Jen Ryan, whose husband, 1st Lt. Tass Ryan, just returned home with the 5th Stryker Brigade Combat Team.

Husbands are also unquestionably welcome at most events, unless it is an in-house playdate, in which case permission from the host is required.

Dues are $3 every six months, and the funds go toward maintaining the Meetup site fees. There are 41 members in the group, though, according to Ryan, maybe only half are active. That sums up the largest problem facing the group, since people tend to sign up but then not participate.

"I think some people like to collect groups," Ryan said with a shrug. "But in order for it to be successful, people within the group must be active."

To join the group, you must first join Meetup and then visit www.meetup.com/tacoma-military-wives